


Complicated

by TheWordsInMyHead



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke needs to figure her life out, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Monty ships Bellarke, Post 607, mind space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 02:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19348060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWordsInMyHead/pseuds/TheWordsInMyHead
Summary: While waiting in Clarke’s mind space for something to happen, Monty pushes Clarke to make some realizations about her relationships, both past and present, particularly in regards to Bellamy.Or the one where even Monty is questioning why he is the one to show up in Clarke’s darkest hour





	Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> First off let me say that I love Monty. Okay now that it’s said, I really don’t understand why they had Monty showing up in Clarke’s darkest hour, instead of like literally anyone else. Okay well I do, actor availability and all that. But I don’t like it. So I decided to fix it/make it make sense. Isn’t fanfic great? 
> 
> There is a good possibility that Monty is acting out of character here, but since he is supposed to be Clarke’s version of Monty, I think it’s okay. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“Well then,” Monty remarks closing the red door and making his way back into Clarke’s mind space, “hopefully that works.” 

“Yeah,” Clarke responses softly, trying to be realistic and not get her hopes up. They had just spent what felt like forever flickering the lights in a coded message, but despite waiting around there was no confirmation that anyone had seen the message. Hell, they don’t even know if turning the lights on and off actually did anything in the real world. 

“It will,” Monty says more confidently, always the optimist. 

For a second she is overcome by how much she has missed her friend. Not just Monty as she knew him before they went into cyro, but the Monty from before. The Monty of the dropship days who was full of light and laughter, of hope and promise. 

“There is no way of knowing how time in here translates to time out there,” he reminds her when she remains stoic, “it could be less than an hour out there since Josephine woke up. We just need to give Bellamy time to put a plan into action.” 

She doesn’t point out that his time theories just create more scenarios were their screwed, they sent the message out too soon, too late. 

But, she reminds herself forcefully, the point is that they tried. That even if it doesn’t work out the way she wants it to, she can die knowing that she did everything in her power to get back to Madi, to her mom, to everyone... to Bellamy. 

As they make their way back in her and Madi’s home, the nicest of all her mind space by far, Clarke feels a sense of peace surround her. A feeling that she didn’t have before, one that she does now all thanks to Monty. 

“Thanks,” she says turning towards him, “thanks for showing up and helping me, for convincing me to fight.” 

“Of course,” he says easily, “but you do realize that I am nothing more than a physical embodiment of your thoughts and feelings, right? That this all could have happened even if I was someone else.” 

Consciously she does know this, but there is also a small part of her that believes there is a little piece of Monty, of her dad, inside these projections. 

“Either way, still nice if you to show up,” she says not feeling the need to argue her point. 

After a moment he continues “why me though?” 

He poses the question casually, but is still makes her stomach drop and her shoulders tense. 

“I don’t know,” she says with a feigned sense of calm, a shrug. 

He doesn’t buy that answer for a minute. Apparently lying to your projections is about as successful as lying to yourself. 

“I miss you,” she answers instead. 

“I’m sure you do,” he responses still unsatisfied with her answer. 

“I love you,” she tries, truly meaning her words. 

“I know you do, but let’s not pretend that there aren’t people out there or in here who are more important to you.” 

For a second Clarke remains silent knowing that if she really doesn’t want to have this conversation, she doesn’t have to. She could just poof Monty away. It’s her mind scape and she is in control. But then she would be alone and the truth is that she doesn’t want to be. That if he is wrong and this is the end for her, she wants to have him here beside her. She doesn’t want to die alone again. 

Plus, she thinks wiry, there must be some unconscious part of her, buried deep inside, that wants to confront this demon. 

“With Finn and Lexa—,” she cuts off. She already faced these memories and came out on the other side; she should be able to talk about them. She starts again. “Both of their deaths were so traumatic, even though there were so long ago now. Seeing them here would just be too much. It would make me shut down rather than rise up. With one of them I think I would be just as likely to accept my eventual death as fight it, which is counterintuitive to the point.” 

“How about Wells.” 

Wells, she thinks wistfully, it had been a long time since she thought about her childhood best friend. 

“No matter which way I look at it, Wells comes with guilt. I may not have actively participated in his death, but there were definitely different choices I could have made which kept him alive.” 

“The same goes for Jasper,” she adds on before he can ask. 

“Madi?” 

Apparently, it’s not going to be just literal ghosts then, Clarke thinks dejectedly. 

“Even if you are just a projection of myself, I would never risk Madi’s safety by bring her here.” She also doesn’t need Madi to ever see her like this, but that seems obvious so she doesn’t say it. 

“And what about Bellamy?” 

She sighs, this was the conversation she hoped to avoid. “Bellamy is complicated.” 

“Yeah what else is new,” he remarks sarcastically. 

Turning more serious, “Clarke, you and Bellamy have always been a bit messy. That never used to bother you, why is that suddenly stopping you?” 

“I left him in Polis to die,” she reminds him. 

“And as far as I remember you guys moved past that over 100 years ago.” 

“Move past isn’t the same as forgive.” 

“I’m sure he forgives you,” he says kindly, “isn’t giving each other forgiveness like your thing?” 

“Yeah it is, or at least it was before…. everything.” Before he went up to space without her and then came down with a new family is what she means, but will never say out loud, not even to herself. “After all that, things have just been different. And that’s not a necessarily a bad thing.” He isn’t the only one who has a new family to protect. 

“He loves you, I'm pretty sure he would forgive you about just about anything” 

“No he doesn’t,” she responds quickly, too quickly. 

“You didn’t see him grieving you up in space.” 

“You didn’t either,” she snaps, “remember, projection of my thoughts, right? There’s no way I can possibly know that.” 

“He loves you,” he repeats confidently, a grin on his face. 

She is agitated and frustrated, the weight of being trapped in here and the uncertainty of the future getting to her, so she speaks without thinking. “Echo might have an argument against that.” 

If he was grinning before, he is full on ecstatic now. “I never said anything about him being _**in love**_ with you, although since you brought it up, I’d say he is that too.” 

She makes a noise of rejection, but he cuts her off before she can get a word out. 

“Just talk to him Clarke, life is far to short to live with regrets. Complicated doesn’t have to be all that you ever are to each other.” 

Before she can say anything on the subject, the ground begins to shake and the lights start flashing. Time is up. 

“If you had to guess,” Clarke asks grasping hold of the bar for support, “would you say these are signs of me being saved or erased?” 

“Saved.” 

A particularly strong rumble vibrates through the room and Clarke sends a disbelieving look towards Monty. 

“Trust me.” 

Then not a minute later Bellamy’s voice can be heard throughout the room eerie and disjointed, but clearly there. 

“Clarke. Clarke, are you there? Can you hear me? Come back to us.” 

With a smile on his face Monty starts to fade away. The room around her changes, becoming nothing more than a mixture of smeared colours and distorted shapes. 

Then everything fades to black.


End file.
